The Pleasure Gap: Why Women’s Orgasms Are Still Taboo (and How to Change That)
When’s the last time someone told you your pleasure matters? Probably never. Because in a world built on patriarchal scripts, women’s orgasms have always been treated like an afterthought—a bonus round if you’re lucky. Newsflash: your pleasure isn’t optional. It’s not “extra credit.” It’s your right. And the fact that we still have to scream this out loud in 2025? Infuriating.
We’re done faking. Done apologizing. Done being silent. Your orgasm isn’t a bonus.
This is about ripping the covers off the orgasm gap and saying: not anymore.
The Orgasm Gap Is Real (and Infuriating)
Here’s the ugly truth:
Heterosexual men orgasm 95% of the time during sex. [Source]
Women? In one study, barely 39%. [Source]
58% of women admit to faking it just to soothe the male fragile ego. [Source]
Up to a quarter of women report having never experienced an orgasm—ever.
Only 17% of sex ed programs even mention female pleasure. [Source]
Yeah. Let that sink in.
The system isn’t broken—it was designed this way. Comprehensive sex ed rarely talks about clitoral anatomy, let alone how to access joy, autonomy, or real sexual agency.
We were raised to believe female pleasure was “complicated” or “mysterious,” when really, it’s been systematically erased.
In fact, “Some say the gap isn’t cultural but due to the elusive nature of women’s orgasms. Yet one landmark study found that when masturbating, 95 percent of women reach orgasm easily and within minutes. Four minutes was the average time that sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found it takes women to masturbate to orgasm. Orgasm isn’t elusive when women are alone.” [Source]
We’ve been taught to know every synonym for abstinence but none for desire. To memorize STI charts but never our own anatomy.
One study “found that over 60 percent of college students falsely believe the clitoris is located inside the vaginal canal.” [Source]
No wonder so many of us spend years unlearning the crap we were fed in school and learning to claim our own bodies.
The Lies We’ve Been Fed
“Women don’t enjoy sex as much as men.” False. Always false. That lie has been weaponized to excuse bad sex and erase female pleasure altogether.
“Orgasms are hard to achieve.” No, they’re not. They’re hard to achieve when no one teaches you how your body actually works. The clitoris has one job—pleasure—and it’s ignored in most sex ed, media, and partnered sex. The real problem isn’t your body—it’s the system that acts like your orgasm is a riddle instead of a right.
“Talking about pleasure is dirty.” Why? Because silence is control. When we don’t talk about pleasure, we don’t demand it. When we don’t demand it, we’re easier to control.
These lies are designed to keep us quiet, obedient, and disconnected from our bodies. Because when women know their own pleasure, they know their own power. And nothing terrifies patriarchy more than that.
Pleasure as Protest
Pleasure is a measure of freedom. So why are we still treating it like a luxury? Every time you claim your pleasure, you’re rejecting centuries of shame.
Every orgasm is rebellion.
Every conversation about what you like, what you need, and what turns you on is a middle finger to every outdated sex-ed class that skipped this chapter.
Ready to take action? Here’s your to-do list:
Write down 3 things that bring you physical pleasure (not just sexual—touch, temperature, movement).
The next time you masturbate, try slowing down and focusing only on what you like—no outside scripts.
Look up and bookmark one anatomy-based resource that centers female pleasure (e.g., OMGYes, Vulva Gallery, Pussypedia).
DM or text one friend and ask: “Why do you think no one taught us about women’s orgasms?” Start the conversation. Let it ripple.
The Knowledge We Deserve
Sex ed built on fear and shame is worthless. We deserve a sex ed that celebrates female anatomy, dismantles the pleasure myths, and teaches us how to know ourselves. Because knowing your own pleasure is the first step toward demanding better from everyone—partners, educators, systems.
The Core Truth
Your orgasm is not a luxury item. It’s not something you have to “earn” by being desirable or by making someone else come first. It’s yours, and you don’t have to apologize for wanting more of it.
At All the R.A.G.E., we believe pleasure is power. It’s freedom. And it’s time we close the gap, together.
Rage for your rights.
Love your body hard.
And never, ever fake it again.
