Okay real talk—can someone explain where the clitoris actually is (like the whole structure, not just the little external part) and why it can feel totally different depending on where you’re touched?

Q: Okay real talk—can someone explain where the clitoris actually is (like the whole structure, not just the little external part) and why it can feel totally different depending on where you’re touched?A: The clitoris is not just that tiny button at the top of your vulva. That is the glans, the visible tip. Under the surface, the clitoris is a whole wishbone-shaped organ: a shaft running back under your pubic bone, two legs (crura) wrapping around the sides of the vagina, and two chunky bulbs that sit under the labia. It surrounds your vaginal opening like a 360° pleasure halo.Different parts feel different because: nerve density varies by spot, some touch is direct (on the glans), some is indirect (through the hood, labia, or vaginal wall), and your hormones, arousal level, and even menstrual cycle change blood flow and sensitivity. You’re not broken; you’re wired for nuance, not porn-math.Curious how *your* clit shows up across your cycle? Rant, overthink, or experiment out loud with Gush and unpack what your body’s been trying to tell you.

Where is the clitoris located and how big is it really?

The real clitoral anatomy: way bigger than the "little button" story

Let’s map it out from top to bottom:- At the very top of your vulva is the clitoral glans – the visible part. It usually sits under a little fold of skin called the clitoral hood.- The hood is like a built-in hoodie, protecting the glans from constant friction. Some hoods are snug, some are more open. All normal.- Behind the glans, under the skin, is the clitoral body (shaft). It runs back and slightly up, tucked under your pubic bone.- From that shaft split two legs called the crura. They run down along each side of the vaginal opening like a wishbone.- Then there are the vestibular bulbs – two spongy masses of erectile tissue that sit under the labia on either side of the vaginal opening.So when people say the clitoris is about 8–10 cm (3–4 inches) total, they’re talking about the entire internal structure, not just the visible tip. The clitoral network literally hugs the entrance to the vagina.That’s why penetration can feel good *if* it’s stimulating the internal branches and bulbs of the clitoris – not because the vagina itself is secretly a separate magic button.

Why different parts of the clitoris feel different

You’re not imagining it: the same person can feel totally different reactions depending on *where* and *how* the clitoral structure is touched.Some reasons:- **Nerve density is not uniform.** The glans is insanely sensitive – packed with thousands of nerve endings. Light, gentle touch may feel amazing there, while pressure might be too much.- **Indirect vs direct stimulation.** Rubbing above the clit on the mound, massaging the labia, or penetration that presses on the front vaginal wall are all ways of stimulating the *internal* clitoral parts without going straight for the glans.- **Angle and pressure.** A position where your pubic bone presses a certain way, or your hand is at a specific angle, can hit different parts of the crura or bulbs. That is why one position feels like fireworks and another feels like… nothing.- **The so-called G-spot.** That spongy, sensitive area on the front wall of the vagina (toward the belly) is thought to be part of the clitoral network plus surrounding tissue and nerves. You’re still stimulating parts of the clitoris – just from the inside.Different textures (tongue vs fingers vs toy), speeds, and rhythms recruit different parts of the clitoral network. Your brain then layers on context: feeling safe, turned on, resentful, exhausted, or anxious will change how the *same* physical input registers.

How your menstrual cycle changes clitoral sensitivity

Your clitoris does not live in a hormonal vacuum. Across your menstrual cycle, shifts in estrogen, progesterone, and even testosterone change blood flow, lubrication, and sensitivity around the vulva.Quick cycle breakdown (assuming roughly 28 days, but your mileage may vary):- **Menstrual phase (bleeding).** Estrogen and progesterone are low. You might feel crampy, tired, less easily aroused. Some people feel more raw and sensitive in a not-fun way; others feel emotionally closer to their body and find gentle external stimulation comforting.- **Follicular phase (after your period until ovulation).** Estrogen rises. Energy and mood often lift. Blood flow to the pelvis increases, and many people notice being more easily turned on and more responsive to clitoral and vulvar touch.- **Ovulation (mid-cycle).** Estrogen peaks and there is a small testosterone bump. Libido can spike. The clitoral area may feel extra sensitive and swell more during arousal. Indirect stimulation (through the hood or labia) may suddenly feel amazing.- **Luteal phase (after ovulation until your next period).** Progesterone rises. Some people get PMS: bloating, tender breasts, irritability. The vulva and clitoris can feel puffy or less predictable – sometimes hypersensitive, sometimes meh. Lubrication may dip, which changes how friction feels.On **hormonal birth control**, these peaks and valleys are flattened. The clitoris is still absolutely functional, but some people notice:- Less intense mid-cycle horniness- Slightly less natural lubrication- More reliance on direct or consistent stimulation to climaxIf you have **irregular cycles** (like with PCOS, thyroid issues, or stress), your hormonal rhythms might not follow a neat pattern, so sensitivity can feel random. It’s not you failing at sex; it’s your endocrine system doing chaos.Midway through and still not seeing your experience in here? Your body is allowed to be the plot twist. If what you feel doesn’t match the script, walk it through with Gush and get a one-on-one breakdown of what might be going on for *your* cycle and clit.

Why the same touch sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t

The clitoris is not a vending machine: same button, same product. A few factors that change the game:- **Arousal level.** Before you’re really turned on, direct touch to the glans can feel scratchy or too intense. As you get more aroused, the tissue swells, the hood and labia shift, and more of the internal structure engages.- **Lubrication.** Natural wetness (which varies by cycle phase and hormones) plus added lube changes how friction feels. Dry skin plus strong friction can feel like sandpaper.- **Position of the clitoris.** Some clits are higher up away from the vaginal opening, some closer. That changes whether penetration automatically stimulates the internal parts or barely touches them.- **Pelvic floor tension.** If you hold a lot of tension (from stress, pain, trauma, or overtraining), blood flow and sensation can feel off. Release and relaxation work can make a huge difference.If you’ve ever thought, "This exact move worked yesterday, why is my body ignoring it now?" – that’s normal. Your nervous system, hormones, and stress levels do not reboot to factory settings every day.

How to explore your full clitoral network

Some practical ways to map what feels good:- Use a mirror and your fingers when you’re *not* in a rush to orgasm. Find the glans, trace up onto the mound, then down toward the sides of the vaginal opening.- Try different kinds of touch: circling around the hood, pressing above the clit on the pubic mound, gentle squeezing of the labia, slow penetration with attention to the front vaginal wall.- Experiment at different points in your cycle. Notice if mid-cycle vs pre-period feels different in terms of pressure, speed, or type of stimulation you like.- If you have a partner, literally move their hand or toy. Narrate what changes: softer, slower, more to the left, less direct.Your clitoris is an entire system, not a single pixel. The goal is not to find "the one right spot" but to understand your personal map – which will absolutely shift across your cycle, your stress levels, and your life.