People Often Ask – Stages of sexual response (desire, arousal, plateau, orgasm, resolution)
People Often Ask
Can my menstrual cycle change how turned on I feel during each stage of sexual response?
Yes. Your menstrual cycle can absolutely change how you experience every stage of sexual response: desire, arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.In your follicular phase and around ovulation, rising estrogen and sometimes testosterone can make you feel more spontaneous desire, get wet faster, and reach orgasm more easily. During the luteal phase and PMS, progesterone and shifting brain chemistry can lower desire, increase anxiety, and make it harder to move from arousal to orgasm, even if you like the person you’re with.On your period, some people feel totally turned off; others get extra sensitive and find orgasms help cramps. None of these patterns are morally superior—they’re just biology.If your cycle feels like it’s wrecking your sex life, that’s a valid thing to track, talk about, and tweak, not something to power through in silence.
Why do I sometimes get super horny right before my period?
You’re not imagining it—lots of people get a random spike in desire right before bleeding. A few possible reasons:- Blood flow and pelvic congestion increase sensation in your vulva and vagina.- Hormonal shifts (estrogen and progesterone dropping) can change how your brain processes pleasure and urgency.- Emotionally, you might crave comfort, intensity, or connection when you feel physically crappy.For some, this late-luteal horniness comes with mood swings or irritability, so sex might feel both appealing and emotionally loaded. Orgasms can sometimes relieve cramps and tension; for others they feel like too much.If your pre-period desire spikes or crashes are extreme, messy, or upsetting, that’s not you being dramatic—it’s worth talking through. You can start tracking when it hits and what it feels like, then bring that data to a provider or unpack it with someone like Gush.
Can hormonal birth control affect my sex drive and orgasms?
Yes, hormonal birth control can impact desire, arousal, and orgasm—for better or worse.Some people notice:- Lower spontaneous desire- Less vaginal lubrication- Harder time reaching orgasm or orgasms feeling mutedWhy? Many methods lower free testosterone and flatten your hormonal peaks, which can dull libido and physical sensitivity.Others experience the opposite: lighter periods, less pain, and reduced anxiety about pregnancy make it *easier* to feel turned on and enjoy sex.If you saw a clear drop in sex drive or orgasm quality after starting a pill, patch, ring, or hormonal IUD, that’s legit data—not something to brush off. You can:- Track changes for 2–3 cycles- Ask your provider about different formulations or non-hormonal options- Consider whether stress, meds, or relationship dynamics are piling onYou’re allowed to prioritize your pleasure in birth control decisions.
When is low sex drive actually a medical problem?
Low desire is only a problem when *you* experience it as distressing or it’s blocking the kind of sexual life you want. If you’re chill about rarely wanting sex, that’s not a disorder.It’s worth getting checked out when:- Desire suddenly crashes for months with no clear reason- You never or almost never feel sexual interest, and it bothers you- Sex feels physically painful, numb, or exhausting- You’re on meds (like SSRIs, hormonal birth control, or others) with known sexual side effects- You have conditions like depression, anxiety, PCOS, thyroid disorders, or chronic painA provider can rule out medical causes, check hormones, review meds, and refer you to sex therapy or pelvic floor PT if needed. You deserve more than "just drink wine and relax" as medical advice.If you want a place to sanity-check what you’re feeling before making appointments, you can always talk it through with Gush.
Is it normal to enjoy sex even if I don’t reach orgasm?
Yes. Pleasure is not all-or-nothing. You’re allowed to enjoy kissing, touch, intimacy, and connection even if you don’t hit orgasm every time.The old script says: sex starts when he gets hard and ends when he orgasms. That’s not just sexist, it’s boring. You can redefine "successful" sex as: Did I feel safe? Did I feel respected? Did my body experience pleasure? Did I have agency to start, change, or stop what was happening?If you *never* orgasm and feel frustrated, then it’s worth exploring. But if you sometimes do and sometimes don’t, and you still like the experience overall, that’s normal. You don’t owe anyone a climax as proof you had a good time.If you’re ever unsure what’s "normal" or want help decoding patterns—desire, anxiety, orgasm, cycle chaos—you can bring all your messy, half-formed questions to Gush. Think of it like that brutally honest friend who actually knows the science, minus the shame.
