What’s the best way for teens to set boundaries with social media (doomscrolling, comparison, DMs) without feeling totally cut off from friends?

Think of social media like junk food: fun in the right amount, wrecks you when it’s constant. You don’t need to quit; you need containers. Start by choosing **where** you’ll be active (2–3 main apps) and **when** you’ll be on them (time windows, not all day). Turn off most notifications, mute or unfollow accounts that make you hate your life, and keep at least one space in your day that’s phone-free (mornings, meals, or before bed).For DMs, create rules: who gets access, what you respond to, and when you’re “off.” You’re allowed to ignore creepy, draining, or performative messages. That’s not rude—that’s self-respect.If your body feels fried from constant online noise, you can always Chat with Gush and unpack how your cycle, mood, and symptoms might be feeding the doomscrolling loop.

How to set healthy social media boundaries as a teen without losing friends

Step 1: Decide what social media is actually for

If you don’t decide what you want from social media, the algorithm will decide for you—and it’s not choosing your mental health.Ask yourself:- Is this app for staying in touch with friends?- For news? Memes? Creative inspo? Thirst traps?- Or is it just the default escape whenever life feels like too much?Once you know the *why*, you can build boundaries around it:- “TikTok is for laughs and recipes, not for news.”- “Instagram is for close friends + art, not body comparison.”- “Snap is for actual friends, not randoms who make me anxious.”Write your rules in your Notes app. Sounds cheesy, but when your brain is spiraling, you forget what you decided when you were calm.

Step 2: Create time containers so you’re not online 24/7

Total bans almost always backfire. Time *containers* work better.Try:- **App limits:** 30–90 minutes total per day per app (whatever feels realistic). Your phone can lock apps after that. Yes, you can override it. Make it annoying enough that you pause and ask, “Do I actually want this?”- **Phone-free anchors:**- First 30 minutes after waking up.- During meals.- Last 30–60 minutes before bed.- **Check-in windows:**- After school for 20–30 minutes.- After homework for 20–30 minutes.You’re not cutting yourself off; you’re stopping your nervous system from being on-call for everyone else 24/7.

How your menstrual cycle affects doomscrolling and comparison

You know those weeks where every TikTok couple makes you feel single and unlovable, every body on Instagram makes you hate yours, and every DM feels like an attack? That’s not random. That’s hormones + a rigged attention economy.Quick cycle rundown for mood + social media:1. **Follicular phase (after your period)**- Estrogen rising → more motivation, optimism, resilience.- You might handle social media better: less triggered by drama, more “lol whatever.”- Good time to post, connect, network, shoot your shot.2. **Ovulation**- Estrogen peaks + small testosterone bump → more confident, social, flirty.- Social media can feel fun and energizing.- Also a time people take more “risks” (thirst traps, sliding into DMs). Nothing wrong with that—just be mindful about consent, privacy, and future-you.3. **Luteal phase (before your period)**- Progesterone high, then both estrogen + progesterone drop → more irritability, anxiety, sensitivity.- This is PRIME doomscrolling, comparison, “everyone hates me” season.- Your brain’s negativity filter is turned up, so the same comments that felt neutral last week can feel like attacks.4. **Menstrual phase (bleeding)**- Low hormones, low energy, more desire to cocoon.- You might want to withdraw, mute group chats, and only talk to your inner circle.If you feel like a totally different person online across your cycle, that’s not you being “crazy.” That’s your nervous system reacting differently depending on hormone levels affecting serotonin, dopamine, and stress response.If scrolling feels like it’s feeding your worst symptoms, not distracting from them, that’s a sign to tighten boundaries.If what you’re feeling before your period goes beyond irritability into full “I hate existing” mode, you’re not being dramatic—take it seriously and bring it to Gush so you can get support and language for talking to a trusted adult or provider.

DM boundaries: who gets access to you and when

You do *not* owe instant responses to:- Situationships who only text after midnight.- Exes “checking in.”- People trauma-dumping with zero consent.- Creep accounts, classmates who make you uncomfortable, or anyone sending sexual content you didn’t ask for.Try these rules:- **DM windows:** “I answer DMs once after school and once at night.”- **Close friend filter:** Only certain people get read receipts and fast responses. Everyone else waits.- **Template responses:** “Hey, I don’t have the energy to hold this right now, but I hope you have support.” / “Not okay with this kind of message. Don’t send it again.”If someone reacts badly to your boundary, that tells you the relationship was never healthy. Control is not care.

Curating your feed like your mental health depends on it (because it does)

Algorithms reward extremes: extreme bodies, extreme beauty, extreme hot takes, extreme drama. Too much of that, and your brain starts thinking that’s normal.Clean up your feed:- Mute or unfollow anyone who makes you hate your body, your face, your life, or your culture.- Follow creators with real, diverse bodies and honest mental health talk.- Add accounts that teach things you care about: money, art, politics, sexual health, career, whatever.Your nervous system was not built to process 500 people’s lives before breakfast.

When to step back and when to get help

Time to consider a bigger reset if:- You’re losing hours every day to the scroll and can’t remember what you saw.- Your anxiety or depression spikes *after* using social media.- You’re obsessively checking views, likes, or who watched your Story.- You’re getting harassed, bullied, or sexually pressured in DMs.Signs it’s not “just social media” anymore:- Self-harm urges or thoughts of not wanting to be alive.- Extreme mood swings before your period (possible PMDD).- Panic attacks triggered by notifications.You deserve real, offline safety. The apps profit from keeping you hooked. You profit from protecting your peace.