If I’m trying a sex toy for the first time, what’s the safest way to insert it properly (lube type, cleaning, and how do I avoid irritation or a UTI)?

Q: If I’m trying a sex toy for the first time, what’s the safest way to insert it properly (lube type, cleaning, and how do I avoid irritation or a UTI)?A: Safest rule: nothing goes inside you dry, dirty, or sketchy material-wise. Pick a body-safe toy (medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, or glass), wash it with warm water and mild soap before and after use, and always use **lube**—usually water-based, especially if you’re using condoms or silicone toys. Start small, start slow, and listen to your body; pressure or stretch is fine, sharp pain is not.To avoid irritation and UTIs: pee after sex/toy play, don’t take a toy from butt to vagina without washing or changing a condom, and avoid heavily scented soaps on your vulva. Your hormones and cycle affect how wet and sensitive you are, so what feels good around ovulation might feel like too much in the dry, PMS-y luteal phase.If you want a no-judgment place to ask, “Is this toy too big?” or “Is this pain normal?”, talk it through with Gush and get some context for what your body’s doing.

How to safely use and insert a sex toy for the first time

Step one: pick a toy that deserves your body

Not all toys are created equal. Some are basically bacteria sponges wrapped in neon plastic. For anything that’s going **inside** you, look for:- **Body-safe materials**:- Medical-grade silicone (soft, non-porous, easy to clean)- Stainless steel- Borosilicate glass (tempered sex-toy glass, not random decor glass)Avoid:- Jelly rubber- “Mystery” plastics- Toys that smell like a tire store—those often have toxic softeners.For first-timers:- Start with **slim vibrators**, small dildos, or **external-only** toys (clitoral vibrators) if insertion feels intimidating.- Curved toys can hit the G-spot more easily, but don’t start with anything massive “just to get it over with.” Your vagina is not a challenge.

Lube 101: water-based vs silicone vs oil

Lube is non-negotiable if you care about your comfort and your microbiome.**Water-based lube**- Safe with **condoms** and **all toy materials**.- Easy to clean.- Can dry out faster, but you can reapply.- Great default choice.**Silicone-based lube**- Super slippery, lasts longer.- Amazing if you’re very dry (common on birth control, postpartum, or in your luteal phase).- **Do NOT use on silicone toys**—it can damage the material. Use on glass/steel or for condom-only play.**Oil-based lube (coconut, etc.)**- Feels great, but:- Can clog pores and trap bacteria.- **Breaks latex condoms.**- Harder to wash fully off toys and skin.If you get recurrent yeast or BV, skip flavored/tingly lubes and heavy fragrances—they can irritate and throw off your vaginal pH.

How your cycle and hormones change how toys feel

Your menstrual cycle isn’t just about bleeding; it changes lubrication, sensitivity, and desire:- **Menstrual phase (bleeding, low hormones):**- Some people love toys with a cup or tampon out—others are crampy and want zero contact.- Blood can act as lube, but tissues may feel tender.- **Follicular phase (estrogen rising):**- More natural lubrication.- Vaginal tissue is plumper and more elastic.- Great time to experiment—usually less pain, more comfort.- **Ovulation (estrogen peak, LH surge):**- Libido often spikes.- Cervical mucus is slippery; insertion can feel easier.- **Luteal phase (progesterone high, PMS zone):**- You may feel drier, more bloated, more sensitive.- Smaller toys + extra lube usually feel better.On **hormonal birth control**, estrogen spikes are muted:- Some people are drier and need more lube all month.- Some feel more stable and less reactive—but still need lube for comfort.If your body keeps doing things you didn’t read in textbooks, you’re not broken—you’re normal. If you want help mapping your toy experiences to your cycle, Gush can help you connect the dots.

Step-by-step: inserting a sex toy safely

1. **Get yourself turned on first.**- Penetration will always feel better if you’re actually aroused.- Use your hands, porn, erotica, whatever works.2. **Start external.**- Touch the toy to your vulva, clit, and labia first.- Let your body adjust to the texture and vibration.3. **Lube everything.**- Apply lube to the toy and your vaginal opening.- Add more later if you feel any drag.4. **Insert slowly.**- Hold the toy at the base.- Angle it **toward your lower back**, not straight up.- Breathe out as you gently press in.- If you feel a wall, pause, breathe, and relax your pelvic floor—don’t force it.5. **Respect pain.**- Stretch or pressure = okay.- Sharp, burning, or stabbing pain = stop.- Try a smaller toy, more lube, different angle, or just stick to external play.6. **Avoid the “lost toy” panic.**- Only use **toys with a flared base** for anal play.- Vaginally, your cervix is a closed-ish end; toys won’t get “lost” in your body. They can ride a bit high, but bearing down + fingers usually retrieve them.

Cleaning toys and avoiding irritation or UTIs

**Before and after every use:**- Wash with warm water and mild, unscented soap.- Rinse thoroughly and air dry.- For non-motorized silicone, glass, or steel toys, some can be boiled or placed in the top rack of the dishwasher—check brand guidance.To avoid **irritation**:- Avoid harsh/antibacterial soaps on toys.- Skip scented washes or scrubs on your vulva.- Don’t use toys on broken skin, sores, or if you have intense burning—get evaluated first.To avoid **UTIs**:- Pee after using toys.- Wipe front to back.- Don’t drag a toy from **butt to vagina** without thoroughly washing it or changing a condom—it moves gut bacteria to your urethra.Sharing toys?- Use **condoms on toys** if you share them or switch between partners/orifices.- Clean thoroughly between uses.

When toy use is a red flag, not “just discomfort”

Toy use shouldn’t feel like punishment. Pay attention if:- Insertion **always** hurts, no matter how slow or lubed.- You get burning, itching, odd discharge, or a strong smell after toy play.- You bleed (outside your period) from very gentle insertion.- You get recurrent UTIs linked to toy use.These can signal:- Infections (yeast, BV, STIs)- Micro-tears from dryness or too much friction- Pelvic floor tension or vaginismus- Endometriosis or other pelvic conditionsYou deserve pleasure *and* safety. If your body keeps throwing up warning signs, it’s not “you being dramatic”—it’s valid feedback.If you want a place to vent about your first toy, decode weird sensations, or figure out if something needs a doctor or just more lube, you can always bring that to Gush. No shame, no performance, just your body and the truth.