How do I actually find a LGBTQ+-friendly doctor/OB-GYN/therapist in my area without just trusting random Google reviews—are there legit directories or green flags I should look for?

Yes, there *are* legit ways to find LGBTQ+-friendly doctors, OB-GYNs, and therapists that don’t involve gambling on Yelp.Start with real directories: GLMA (Queer-friendly doctors), OutCare Health, WPATH (for gender-affirming care), Psychology Today, TherapyDen, and Inclusive Therapists (filter for LGBTQ+ competence). Add Planned Parenthood and your campus health center/LGBTQ+ resource office to the list.Green flags: intake forms with pronouns and chosen name, language like “all genders,” “all bodies,” and “partners” instead of “husbands/wives;” visible non-discrimination policies; mentions of queer care (PrEP, gender-affirming hormones, trans-inclusive pelvic exams, care for people who menstruate, not just “women”); and staff that don’t flinch when you say “my girlfriend” or “my partner is nonbinary.”Final rule: if your gut says “weird vibe,” you’re allowed to leave.If you want to talk through your options, scripts, or just WTF your body’s been doing lately, you can always Chat with Gush and get a human on your side.

How to find an LGBTQ-friendly doctor, OB-GYN, or therapist near you

Start with real LGBTQ+ healthcare directories, not random reviews

Let’s be blunt: “Dr. Smith was nice :)” on Google tells you nothing about how they treat queer patients.Here’s where to look instead:- **GLMA (Health Professionals Advancing LGBTQ Equality)** – Directory of LGBTQ+-friendly doctors and specialists: primary care, OB-GYN, etc.- **OutCare Health** – Big, searchable list of queer-competent providers by location and specialty.- **WPATH Provider Directory** – For gender-affirming care (hormones, surgeries, letters) and trans-competent therapists.- **Psychology Today / TherapyDen / Inclusive Therapists** – Filter for “LGBTQ+ affirming,” “transgender competent,” “non-monogamy-friendly,” etc.- **Planned Parenthood** – Many centers are explicitly LGBTQ+-affirming and offer OB-GYN care, STI testing, birth control, PrEP, and sometimes gender-affirming hormone care.- **Campus resources** – University health centers, LGBTQ+ centers, or women’s centers often have a vetted referral list.- **Local LGBTQ+ orgs** – Community centers, mutual aid groups, or local Pride orgs often keep “we’ve-tested-them” lists.If a directory profile says “specializes in LGBTQ+ care” and actually describes what that means (e.g., “experienced with queer couples, trans patients on hormones, patients with irregular cycles on birth control,” etc.), that’s a strong sign.

Online green flags: how a clinic shows you who they really are

Before you even book, stalk their website like it’s your ex’s new partner’s Insta.**Green flags on a doctor/OB-GYN website or profile:**- **Inclusive language** – They say “all genders,” “people who menstruate,” “partners,” “families,” not just “ladies,” “moms,” “husbands and wives.”- **Intake forms with pronouns + chosen name** – Bonus if they ask how you want staff to address you.- **Explicit non-discrimination policy** – Mentions sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression.- **Services that scream ‘we actually thought about queer people’**- Gender-affirming hormone therapy or referrals- PrEP / PEP- Trans-inclusive Pap smears and pelvic exams- Fertility counseling for queer couples- Care for people on testosterone whose periods changed or stopped- **All-gender restrooms** and signs that acknowledge LGBTQ+ patients.For therapists, look for:- “Affirming,” “LGBTQ+ competent,” “kink/poly affirming,” and **actual examples** of the communities they serve.- They mention understanding how **hormones, menstrual cycles, dysphoria, trauma, and sexuality** intersect with mental health.If their entire OB-GYN page is “Ladies, get your bikini bodies and baby bumps checked!”—you can do better.If you’re reading this and thinking, “None of this quite fits my situation,” that’s normal. Real life is messy. You can always unpack your specific mix of identity, symptoms, and cycle stuff with Gush and get a more tailored game plan.

How to vet a provider on the phone before you waste a co-pay

You are absolutely allowed to interview them first.When you call the front desk, try:- “I’m looking for a provider who is experienced with LGBTQ+ patients. Who in your practice is best for that?”- “Do your intake forms include pronouns and chosen name?”- “How do you document name and pronouns in the chart so all staff see it?”- “Do you have experience with same-sex couples / nonbinary patients / trans patients on hormones?” (Customize for you.)- If you menstruate: “Do your OB-GYNs have experience with queer and trans patients who have periods, including irregular cycles or dysphoria around pelvic exams?”- If you’re on hormones or birth control: “Are they familiar with managing side effects of gender-affirming hormones or hormonal birth control, like mood changes, heavy bleeding, or missing periods?”You’re not being “difficult.” You’re screening them like they’re applying to work on your damn body—because that’s exactly what they’re doing.

Why your cycle and hormones matter in queer-friendly care

A good LGBTQ+-competent doctor or therapist doesn’t just say “love is love” and call it a day. They understand how identity, hormones, and cycles collide.Quick hormone-and-cycle rundown:- **Menstrual phase (bleeding):** Estrogen and progesterone crash. Cramping, fatigue, low mood. For some queer and trans folks, bleeding can spike dysphoria or trauma. A good provider offers options: pain control, different birth control methods, or ways to reduce/stop bleeding safely.- **Follicular phase (post-period, rising estrogen):** Energy and mood tend to lift. This can be a good time to schedule more intimidating appointments or mental health work if you have the choice.- **Ovulatory phase (mid-cycle):** Estrogen peaks, LH surges. Libido and sensitivity often increase. Reality check: queer people can still get pregnant if sperm + egg meet, even if pregnancy wasn’t in the script. Your provider should respect your sexuality *and* give honest guidance about fertility, STI risk, and protection.- **Luteal phase (PMS/PMDD territory):** Progesterone rises; some people get mood swings, rage, anxiety, or depression. If those symptoms get extreme (PMDD-level), a good therapist or doctor won’t just blame your “crazy hormones.” They’ll take it seriously, consider meds, therapy, lifestyle shifts, or switching hormonal birth control.Also key:- **Irregular cycles** (shorter than ~21 days, longer than ~35, or unpredictable) can signal PCOS, thyroid issues, stress, under-eating, intense exercise, or effects from gender-affirming hormones or birth control.- **Red flag symptoms** that deserve real investigation, not “it’s just your period”: very heavy bleeding, severe pain that ruins your life, bleeding between periods, or a sudden shift in your cycle.An LGBTQ+-friendly provider will connect all of this to *your* body and identity, not default to a cookie-cutter “straight cis woman trying to get pregnant” script.

Red flags that should make you run, not rationalize

Some signs a provider is performative-inclusive at best:- Intake forms only have “Male/Female” and “Husband/Wife.” No room for pronouns or chosen name.- Staff ignores how you introduce your partner (“This is my girlfriend”) and calls them your “friend.”- They assume your sexual behavior based on how you look. (Ex: You say “I’m bi” and they only talk about male partners.)- They don’t know what PrEP is or visibly cringe at the word “lesbian,” “nonbinary,” or “trans.”- They insist everyone with a uterus is a “woman” and blow off dysphoria during pelvic or breast exams.- They dismiss heavy bleeding, irregular cycles, or brutal cramps as “normal,” especially after you say they’re impacting school, sex, or mental health.You do *not* have to educate them unless you genuinely want to. You’re allowed to nope out and find someone who already did the homework.

Trusting your gut and protecting your energy

Reality: even with all the prep, you might book someone who looks great on paper and still feels off in person. When that happens, ask yourself:- Do I feel safe asking questions?- Do I feel seen in my actual identity, not the one they project on me?- Do I feel like I can say “no” or “I don’t understand” without punishment?- Did they take my pain or cycle issues seriously, or did they minimize them?If the answer is no, you’re not “too sensitive.” You’re sensing a mismatch in power and respect.You deserve care that doesn’t gaslight you—about your identity, your sexuality, or your bleeding, hormones, and pain.