What to do after unprotected sex

I just had unprotected sex—how soon do I need to take Plan B (or get the copper IUD) for it to actually work, and does my weight/BMI change what I should take?

Here’s the blunt truth: emergency contraception is a race against your ovulation, not against the clock on the wall.

• Plan B / generic levonorgestrel pills: Take as soon as possible, ideally within 24 hours, best effectiveness within 72 hours (3 days). It may still work up to 120 hours (5 days), but it’s weaker.
• Ella (ulipristal): Works up to 5 days after unprotected sex and is more effective than Plan B, especially days 3–5.
• Copper IUD: The most effective emergency contraception. Can be placed up to 5 days after sex (often even a bit later, depending on ovulation timing) and keeps working as birth control for up to 10+ years.

Weight/BMI does matter: above ~165 lbs (75 kg), Plan B is less reliable; above ~195 lbs (88 kg), copper IUD is your best bet, with Ella as second choice if IUD isn’t an option.

Want to talk through your exact timing, weight, and cycle instead of doing mental math alone? Chat with Gush about what your body’s telling you right now.

How soon should I take Plan B or get a copper IUD after unprotected sex?

Why timing after unprotected sex actually matters

Let’s strip the panic out of this for a second.

Pregnancy happens if sperm + egg + right timing line up. Here’s the basic biology:

• Sperm can live inside your body for up to 5 days.
• The egg only lives about 12–24 hours after ovulation.
• You’re most likely to get pregnant in the fertile window: roughly 5 days before ovulation + the day of ovulation.

Your menstrual cycle hormones run this whole show:

• Follicular phase (Day 1–ovulation): Estrogen climbs. Your brain sends FSH to grow follicles (egg-houses) in your ovaries.
• Ovulation: Estrogen peaks → triggers a sharp LH surge → ovary releases one egg.
• Luteal phase (after ovulation): Progesterone rises to prep the uterus. If no pregnancy happens, progesterone drops → you bleed.

Emergency contraception mostly works by stopping or delaying ovulation. If the egg never gets released, sperm have nothing to fertilize.

So the closer you are to the LH surge/ovulation, the less time you have. That’s why everyone screams “take it ASAP”—because once the egg is out, pills don’t do much.

Emergency contraception options after unprotected sex

Here’s the breakdown you should’ve gotten in health class instead of banana-condom demos:

1. Plan B / levonorgestrel pills (e.g., Plan B One-Step, Take Action)

• When to take: As soon as possible; best within 72 hours, may still help up to 120 hours (5 days) but less effective.
• How it works: A high dose of levonorgestrel (a progestin) interferes with the LH surge to delay ovulation.
• Effectiveness: Reduces pregnancy risk by about 75–89% when used correctly and early.
• Weight/BMI: Less effective if you weigh >165 lbs (75 kg) or have BMI ≥25.
• Access: Over the counter in most pharmacies, no prescription.

2. Ella (ulipristal acetate)

• When to take: Works up to 5 days (120 hours) after unprotected sex, with less drop-off in effectiveness over time compared to Plan B.
• How it works: Blocks progesterone receptors and strongly delays ovulation—even if you’re closer to the LH surge.
• Effectiveness: More effective than levonorgestrel, especially Day 3–5 after sex or closer to ovulation.
• Weight/BMI: Seems to work better than Plan B at higher weights, but effectiveness drops around BMI ≥30 (~195 lbs/88 kg).
• Access: Requires a prescription in many places (telehealth can often get it same/next-day).

3. Copper IUD (ParaGard)

• When to get it: Up to 5 days after unprotected sex, and in some cases 5 days after your earliest possible ovulation (a provider can help calculate).
• How it works: Copper is toxic to sperm; it stops fertilization and can prevent implantation.
• Effectiveness: Over 99% effective as emergency contraception.
• Weight/BMI: No weight limit. Works regardless of body size.
• Bonus: Becomes your long-term birth control for up to 10–12 years.

Does weight or BMI change which emergency contraception you should use?

You deserve the real data that drug labels like to whisper about.

Research shows:

• Levonorgestrel (Plan B) is less effective in people with:
  • Weight >165 lbs (75 kg) or
  • BMI ≥25 (overweight range).
• Ella stays effective a bit longer, but its effectiveness dips around:
  • BMI ≥30 (obesity range, often ≥195 lbs/88 kg depending on height).
• Copper IUD doesn’t care about your weight. At all.

So, practical takeaway:

• Under ~165 lbs / BMI <25 → Plan B, Ella, or copper IUD are all strong options.
• 165–195 lbs or BMI 25–30 → Ella is preferred over Plan B; copper IUD is top-tier.
• Over 195 lbs or BMI ≥30 → Copper IUD is the gold standard. If that’s not available, Ella is usually next-best, then Plan B if nothing else is accessible.

And if all you can get fast is Plan B at a drugstore? Take it anyway. “Less effective” is not the same as “won’t work.” Some protection is better than none.

Bodies don’t follow textbook rules, and your situation might not fit these tidy categories. If you want someone to help you sort through timing, weight, and what’s realistic for you right now, talk it out with Gush for a judgment-free, personalized convo.

Choosing based on where you are in your menstrual cycle

If you roughly know your cycle, you can stack the odds in your favor.

• Early follicular phase (period week, Days 1–7)
  Estrogen and progesterone are low, your uterine lining is shedding. Ovulation is likely days away, so pregnancy risk is lower but not zero (especially with short cycles). Any EC method (Plan B, Ella, copper IUD) is reasonable.
• Mid follicular to pre-ovulation (about Days 8–13 in a 28-day cycle)
  Estrogen is rising, follicles maturing. Fertile window is opening.
  → If you’re here, act fast.
  
  • Ella works better than Plan B as you get closer to ovulation.
  • Copper IUD is still the most effective.
• Ovulation (around Day 14 but varies)
  LH surges, the egg is released. Once ovulation has already happened, pills might not stop pregnancy, because the egg is out. A copper IUD is the most reliable option at this point.
• Luteal phase (after ovulation, Days ~15–28)
  Progesterone is high, uterus is in “nesting mode.” If you’re sure you’ve already ovulated several days ago, your pregnancy risk from sex at the tail end of your cycle is lower. EC can still be used, but the benefit may be smaller.

If your cycle is irregular or your app is confused? Assume you could be near ovulation and choose the most effective method you can realistically get, not the cheapest box on the shelf.

What happens in your body after taking emergency contraception

Once you swallow the pill (or get the IUD), your hormones do a quick plot twist.

With Plan B / levonorgestrel:

• You get a big hit of synthetic progestin, which can:
  • Delay ovulation.
  • Make your next period earlier or later by up to a week.
  • Cause spotting, breast tenderness, nausea, or moodiness.

With Ella:

• It blocks progesterone receptors, which:
  • Delays or blocks ovulation more powerfully.
  • Can also make your period a few days early or late.
  • May cause headaches, nausea, fatigue.

With a copper IUD:

• No hormones. Your menstrual cycle hormones (estrogen, progesterone) continue their usual pattern.
• You might see:
  • Heavier or crampier periods at first.
  • Spotting between cycles while your uterus adjusts.

Expect your next period to be a bit chaotic: timing shifts, flow different, extra cramps—especially with hormonal EC. That doesn’t automatically mean pregnancy.

When to take a pregnancy test after emergency contraception

To actually know if it worked:

• If your period is more than 1 week late → take a home pregnancy test.
• For super anxious brains:
  
  • Take a test 10–14 days after unprotected sex, then
  • Repeat if your period still hasn’t started a week after it was due.

Use a sensitive urine test first thing in the morning for best accuracy.

Red flags after emergency contraception: when to get help

Go to urgent care, ER, or call a provider if you notice:

• Severe abdominal pain on one side, especially with dizziness or fainting → could be ectopic pregnancy.
• Heavy bleeding: soaking through more than one pad per hour for several hours.
• Fever, chills, foul-smelling discharge, or severe pain after IUD insertion.
• Signs of an allergic reaction: trouble breathing, swelling of lips/face, hives.

Also: if the sex was non-consensual, you are absolutely allowed to seek emergency care, a rape kit, HIV PEP (post-exposure meds, must start within 72 hours), and EC—all at once. Your safety is not up for debate.

Bottom line: act fast, aim for the most effective method you can access, and don’t let shame slow you down. This is your body, your future, your call.

When should I get tested for STIs after this, and which tests can I do right away vs ones I have to wait for?

You can get some STI tests right now, but others need a window period before they show up accurately.

Here’s the quick breakdown after unprotected sex:

• Right away (same week): Baseline tests for chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, HIV, syphilis, and hepatitis B/C can be done now, especially if you have symptoms. Just know you may need a repeat.
• 1–2 weeks: Best window for chlamydia, gonorrhea, trich, most will show up by then.
• 4–6 weeks: HIV (4th gen test) and syphilis are more reliable; re-test if high risk.
• 3 months: Final check for HIV, syphilis, hepatitis if it was a higher-risk exposure.

If the sex was high-risk (no condom + unknown status + possible blood), ask about HIV PEP within 72 hours.

Want to map out a simple testing timeline without spiraling? Chat with Gush and walk through what to test and when based on your actual situation.

When to get STI testing after unprotected sex and which tests you can do immediately

STI tests you can get right now after unprotected sex

Unprotected sex means you’re not just worried about pregnancy; you’re suddenly running STI diagnostics in your head like a crime show. Let’s sort it out.

You can walk into a clinic or lab immediately and ask for:

• Chlamydia and gonorrhea tests (NAAT swabs or urine)
• Trichomoniasis (swab or urine, sometimes wet mount)
• HIV test (preferably a 4th generation blood test)
• Syphilis blood test
• Hepatitis B and C blood tests, if exposure risk was high

Why test right away if some infections won’t show yet?

• You get a baseline: if something is already positive, you treat it now.
• You can flag symptoms early: burning when you pee, discharge, sores, pelvic pain.
• You can ask about HIV PEP if it’s within 72 hours and your risk is high.

No, Plan B does not protect against STIs. Different problem, different tools.

STI window periods: how long after exposure should you test?

STIs don’t infect you and scream “SURPRISE” the next day. They need time to multiply enough to be detected—the window period.

Here’s a realistic timeline after unprotected sex:

Chlamydia & gonorrhea

• May show up: as early as 5–7 days.
• Most reliable: 2 weeks after exposure.
• Type of test: NAAT from urine, vaginal, cervical, throat, or rectal swab (depending on what kind of sex you had).

Trichomoniasis (trich)

• May show up: about 1 week.
• Most reliable: 1–2 weeks.
• Test: Swab or urine. People with uteruses often get more symptoms (itching, discharge).

HIV (using a 4th generation test – antigen/antibody)

• May show up: around 2 weeks.
• Pretty reliable: by 4–6 weeks.
• Definitive: 3 months after exposure (especially if high risk).

Syphilis

• May show up: 3–4 weeks.
• More reliable: 6 weeks.
• Definitive: test again at 3 months if there was risk.

Hepatitis B & C

• Often detectable: 4–6 weeks, sometimes later.
• Re-test: at 3 months if your provider suggests it.

Herpes (HSV-1/HSV-2)

• Blood tests can be messy and confusing.
  
• Best practice: only test if you have symptoms like sores, blisters, or severe pain.

Immediate vs delayed STI testing: how to build a simple plan

If you want a no-brainpower-needed timeline, here’s one:

Within the first 72 hours:

• If the sex was high-risk (no condom, partner unknown, blood present, or sexual assault):
  • Ask about HIV PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis). Must start within 72 hours, earlier is better.
  • Ask about emergency contraception if pregnancy is a concern.
• Get baseline tests for:
  • Chlamydia, gonorrhea, trich
  • HIV (4th gen)
  • Syphilis
  • Hep B/C (if risk factors)

At 2 weeks:

• Retest for:
  • Chlamydia, gonorrhea, trich (this is the sweet spot).
• If you skipped baseline tests, do them now.

At 4–6 weeks:

• Test for:
  • HIV (4th gen)
  • Syphilis

At 3 months:

• Final check for:
  • HIV, syphilis, hepatitis, if the exposure was higher-risk or if you just want full peace of mind.

Your period cycle doesn’t change STI timing the way it matters for pregnancy, but it can affect symptoms (like more discharge around ovulation), which can make things feel extra confusing.

Your situation might be messier than any simple timeline—multiple partners, irregular testing history, weird symptoms, or past trauma. If the chart in your head is starting to glitch, walk through your exact exposure and testing options with Gush so you don’t have to figure this out alone.

How your cycle and hormones can (annoyingly) confuse STI symptoms

The menstrual cycle can mess with your read on what’s “normal” down there:

• Follicular phase (post-period, estrogen rising):
  Discharge increases, usually clear/creamy and stretchy. Totally normal—this is your body prepping for sperm.
• Ovulation:
  Cervical mucus becomes egg-white stretchy and slippery. You might feel wetter than usual. Not an infection, just estrogen doing its thing.
• Luteal phase (after ovulation, progesterone high):
  Discharge may get thicker, tackier, or decrease. Some people get PMS-like pelvic heaviness.

These changes can feel like something is wrong when you’re already anxious. Red flags that lean more STI than hormones:

• Green, gray, or very chunky discharge
• Strong, fishy, or foul odor
• Burning when you pee
• Pain with sex
• Pelvic pain that’s new or sharp

Hormones = pattern you’ve seen before.
STIs = new, off, or escalating.

When STI symptoms mean “go now,” not “wait and see”

You don’t need to be on your deathbed to seek care. Go to urgent care, ER, or a same-day clinic if you notice:

• Severe lower abdominal or pelvic pain, especially with:
  • Fever
  • Nausea or vomiting
  • Pain during sex
• Heavy bleeding between periods or after sex
• Sores, blisters, or open wounds on your vulva, anus, or mouth
• Painful urination that makes you dread peeing
• Fever + foul discharge → could be pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)

If the sex was non-consensual or coerced, you can:

• Get forensic evidence collection (rape kit)
• Start HIV PEP
• Get STI treatment and emergency contraception

All at once. You are not “overreacting.” You are protecting yourself in a system that often doesn’t.

Staying on top of your sexual health long-term

Use this scare as a line in the sand, not a shame spiral:

• Get routine STI testing every 3–12 months, depending on how often you have new partners.
• Use condoms or dental dams, especially with new or non-monogamous partners.
• Pair condoms with a regular birth control method (pill, IUD, implant, ring, patch, whatever fits your life) so EC isn’t your emergency backup every month.

STI testing isn’t a confession. It’s maintenance. Like getting your teeth cleaned, but way more important because it’s your whole damn body.

If my period/app is already kinda irregular and I’m lowkey freaking out, what are the first things I should do tonight/tomorrow (and what symptoms are ‘go to urgent care’ serious)?

Step one: breathe. An irregular cycle doesn’t mean you’re screwed, it just means we can’t rely on the app to save you.

Tonight: decide if you need emergency contraception (Plan B, Ella, or copper IUD) and take it as soon as possible if pregnancy is a concern. Pee after sex, note the date/time of sex, your last period, and any symptoms. If this involved coercion or assault, you’re allowed to go to the ER right now for care, evidence collection, HIV meds, and EC.

Tomorrow: plan STI testing, set a date for a pregnancy test (10–14 days from now or 1 week after missed period), and watch for red-flag symptoms: severe one-sided pelvic pain, heavy bleeding, fever, foul discharge, or signs of infection.

If your brain is doing worst-case scenario fanfic, you don’t have to carry that alone. Chat with Gush and untangle what’s urgent vs what’s just anxiety yelling.

What to do after unprotected sex when your period is irregular and you’re freaking out

Tonight: triage mode (what to do in the next few hours)

Irregular cycle + unprotected sex = the anxiety Olympics. Let’s make a checklist instead of doomscrolling.

1. Decide on emergency contraception (if pregnancy is a possibility)

Ask yourself:

• Did a penis go in a vagina without a condom (or the condom broke/slipped)?
• Did ejaculation or precum happen anywhere near your vulva/vagina?
• Are you not on reliable birth control (IUD, implant, consistent pill, etc.)?

If yes, figure out what you can access tonight or first thing in the morning:

• Plan B / levonorgestrel: Grab from a pharmacy, grocery store, campus clinic—no prescription.
• Ella (ulipristal): Need a prescription or telehealth. Better if it’s been >72 hours or you’re closer to ovulation.
• Copper IUD: Call urgent care, Planned Parenthood, or a local clinic and ask if they do same- or next-day IUD insertions for emergency contraception.

Irregular cycles mean you don’t really know where you are in your fertile window, so treat it like you could be in your fertile days. Earlier you act, the better your odds.

2. Basic body care now

• Pee after sex to help reduce UTI risk.
• Gently wash your vulva with warm water only (no soap inside the vagina).
• If you feel sore, irritated, or emotionally wrecked, that matters. Take it seriously.

3. Write down the key info

Open your Notes app and log:

• Date + approximate time of sex
• Whether there was ejaculation, condom issues, or multiple rounds
• First day of your last period (even if it was weird/short)
• Current symptoms (pain, bleeding, discharge, nausea, etc.)

Your future self—and any doctor or nurse—will thank you.

4. If this was non-consensual or you feel violated

This counts as urgent.

You can go to:

• ER or sexual assault clinic for a forensic exam (if you want)
• HIV PEP (must start within 72 hours, sooner is better)
• Emergency contraception and STI prevention/treatment

You do not have to decide whether to press charges tonight. Getting care is about your body and safety, not the legal system.

Tomorrow: short-term plan (next 24–72 hours)

Once you’re out of immediate panic, it’s strategy time.

1. If you haven’t taken emergency contraception yet, do it ASAP

• If it’s been less than 72 hours, Plan B or Ella are options.
• If it’s Day 3–5 after sex, Ella or the copper IUD are stronger choices.
• If you can get a copper IUD in the next few days, that’s the most effective emergency contraception and future birth control in one.

2. Plan your STI testing

• If you have symptoms (burning, weird discharge, sores, pain): go in as soon as you can.
• If no symptoms, still plan:
  • Baseline tests now or this week (chlamydia, gonorrhea, trich, HIV, syphilis).
  • A follow-up test at 2 weeks for chlamydia/gonorrhea/trich.
  • 4–6 weeks for HIV/syphilis, and 3 months if it was higher-risk.

3. Set a date for a pregnancy test

With an irregular period, your app is mostly vibes. Use time instead:

• Mark 10–14 days from the unprotected sex on your calendar. That’s your first pregnancy test date.
• If that’s negative and your period still doesn’t show, repeat a test 1 week after your expected period or about 3 weeks after sex for more accuracy.

Bodies don’t run on perfect 28-day schedules, especially with stress, travel, weight changes, or hormonal chaos. If this all feels too gray-area, walk through your timeline and options with Gush so you can stop replaying what-ifs in your head.

How an irregular cycle and hormones make this more confusing

Irregular doesn’t always mean broken—it often means your hormones aren’t following the textbook:

• Follicular phase (from period to ovulation):
  Estrogen slowly rises, follicles grow. In irregular cycles, this phase can be longer or unpredictable, so ovulation might be Day 14 or Day 40 or skip entirely.
• Ovulation:
  Triggered by a spike in LH once estrogen gets high enough. If your body is stressed, under-fueled, or dealing with conditions like PCOS, this LH surge can be delayed, weak, or chaotic.
• Luteal phase (after ovulation):
  Progesterone rises. This phase is usually more stable (often 10–16 days), but if your ovulation is irregular, your whole cycle timing looks wild.

Why this matters tonight:
Because if you don’t consistently ovulate at the same time, your “safe days” aren’t actually safe, and fertility apps can be totally wrong for you.

That’s why emergency contraception is still worth taking, even if your app swears you were in a “low fertility” window.

What’s normal to feel after emergency contraception vs what’s concerning

Totally common after Plan B/Ella:

• Nausea or mild vomiting
• Headache, fatigue
• Breast tenderness
• Spotting or light bleeding
• Period that’s a few days early or up to a week late

This is your hormones getting yanked around:

• Plan B = high dose of progestin → temporarily messes with the LH/ovulation pattern and your uterine lining.
• Ella = blocks progesterone receptors → delays ovulation more strongly and can shift your bleed timing.

More common after copper IUD:

• Cramping (especially first few days)
• Spotting
• Heavier or longer periods at first

When to go to urgent care or ER after unprotected sex

You are not being dramatic for wanting help. Go to urgent care, ER, or seek immediate medical care if you have:

• Severe one-sided lower abdominal pain (especially with dizziness or shoulder pain) → could be ectopic pregnancy.
• Very heavy bleeding: soaking through one pad or tampon per hour for several hours, or passing large clots with dizziness.
• Fever (100.4°F / 38°C or higher) plus:
  • Pelvic/abdominal pain
  • Foul-smelling discharge

  → could be pelvic inflammatory disease or another infection.

• Sores, blisters, or intense pain around the vulva/anus/mouth.
• Signs of allergic reaction to meds: trouble breathing, tongue/lip swelling, hives.
• Any situation where you feel unsafe, especially after assault or coercion.

What to do while you wait: managing the anxiety

Waiting for your period, STI window, or test results is brutal. A few things that actually help:

• Set specific “worry times” instead of spiraling 24/7. When your brain starts in, tell yourself, “I’ll think about this at 7pm for 15 minutes,” then redirect.
• Move your body—walk, stretch, dance in your room. Cortisol (stress hormone) loves to sit in your muscles.
• Eat and hydrate, even if you have no appetite. Your brain cannot logic when your blood sugar is floor-level.
• Talk to someone who won’t shame you: friend, therapist, hotline, or a digital resource like Gush.

You don’t deserve panic as punishment for being human. You deserve information, options, and support.

Using this as a turning point, not a self-drag

Once the immediate scare passes, ask yourself:

• Do I want a more reliable birth control method so I’m not relying on “hope” and emergency pills?
• What boundaries do I need with partners around condoms, withdrawal, or contraception?
• Who in my life can I actually talk to about this without feeling judged?

Rage at the lack of real sex ed is valid. So is refusing to stay scared and uninformed. You’re allowed to learn, adjust, and protect yourself without making this about shame.

Tonight and tomorrow are about stabilizing: protect against pregnancy, check for STIs, watch for red flags, and calm your nervous system enough to function. One step at a time is still forward.

People Often Ask

Can you get pregnant from precum during unprotected sex?

Yes, pregnancy from precum is possible, even if he “pulled out.” Pre-ejaculate (precum) itself doesn’t usually contain sperm, but it can pick up leftover sperm from previous ejaculations hanging out in the urethra. If any of that sperm gets into your vagina around your fertile window (the 5 days before ovulation + ovulation day), pregnancy can happen.

If there was any penis-in-vagina contact without a condom, especially if he went back in after ejaculating once, treat it like a pregnancy risk. Emergency contraception (Plan B, Ella, or copper IUD) is still on the table up to 5 days after. Irregular cycles make ovulation timing harder to guess, so if pregnancy is absolutely not the vibe right now, act like it was high-risk instead of hoping the internet says you’re “probably fine.”

Does Plan B mess up your period, and for how long?

Plan B can absolutely throw your period off, but usually short-term. The big hit of levonorgestrel (a synthetic progestin) temporarily hijacks your normal LH/ovulation pattern and tweaks your uterine lining.

You might notice:

• Period comes a few days early or up to a week late
• Heavier or lighter flow than normal
• Spotting in the days or week after you take it

Most people’s cycle settles back to its usual pattern by the next cycle or two. If your period is more than 1 week late, take a pregnancy test. If your cycles stay chaotic for 3+ months, or you have heavy bleeding, severe pain, or other weird symptoms, check in with a provider.

Plan B is a hormonal shove, not a permanent reset button.

Is it bad to take Plan B multiple times?

Medically, taking Plan B multiple times in a year is not dangerous, but it’s also not ideal as your main birth control strategy.

What multiple doses can do:

• Increase irregular bleeding, spotting, or random timing shifts
• Worsen side effects like nausea, breast tenderness, mood swings
• Leave you less protected overall compared to real contraception (pill, IUD, implant, etc.)

What it doesn’t do:

• It doesn’t make you “infertile” or permanently ruin your hormones.

If you’re hitting Plan B more than once in a few months, that’s not a moral failure, it’s a system failure. It’s your signal to look into a reliable birth control method you actually control, so your life isn’t a recurring emergency.

How soon after unprotected sex should I take a pregnancy test?

Pregnancy tests don’t work on vibes; they detect hCG, a hormone only made after implantation.

Realistic timing:

• Earliest: about 10–14 days after unprotected sex (roughly when your next period is due in a typical cycle).
• Most accurate: 1 week after your missed period or about 3 weeks after the sex.

If your cycle is irregular, use the sex date as your anchor:

• Test once at 2 weeks after sex.
• If negative and still no period, test again 1 week later.

Use first-morning urine for best accuracy. If you’ve taken Plan B, your period might be late—that’s common. A negative test 3 weeks after sex is usually very reassuring.

How do I talk to a partner about condoms after a pregnancy scare?

You tell them the truth and don’t shrink it down to protect their comfort.

Try something like: “That scare was not fun. I’m not doing unprotected sex again unless we have a reliable birth control plan and both get STI tested. Condoms are non-negotiable right now.”

If they whine about sensitivity, flip it: “You being slightly less comfy is not more important than my health, my body, or a possible pregnancy I’d be the one dealing with.”

A partner who respects you will engage, ask questions, and problem-solve with you—condoms, shared costs for other birth control, getting tested together. A partner who sulks, manipulates, or refuses is telling you who they are.

If you want help scripting that conversation or sanity-checking their response, you can always unpack it with Gush first.

If you’re reading this and still have a knot in your stomach, you don’t have to Google in circles alone. Ask your questions, unpack patterns, or just check if something is normal by talking with Gush—like a fiercely honest friend who actually knows the science.