How much do hormones actually affect arousal day-to-day—like is it normal that I’m super into it one week and then completely not feeling it the next?
Yes, hormones absolutely mess with your sex drive from week to week, and yes, it’s extremely normal to be turned on one week and totally uninterested the next. Your menstrual cycle is basically a 28-ish day hormone rollercoaster.Estrogen and testosterone climb in the first half of your cycle (around ovulation), which usually boosts arousal, energy, and sensitivity. After ovulation, progesterone rises and can make you feel slower, more tired, and sometimes less interested in sex. On top of that, stress hormones, sleep, mood, meds, and your relationship dynamic layer over all of it.Your desire is supposed to fluctuate. The goal isn’t “consistent horniness”; it’s understanding your patterns so you stop gaslighting yourself for being human.Want to decode your own horny–to–hands-off cycle without judgment? Chat it out with Gush and walk through what your body’s been trying to tell you.
How much do hormones affect arousal during your menstrual cycle?
The hormone rollercoaster: what’s actually happening each month
Let’s map the basics of the menstrual cycle, because sex drive without context is just vibes and confusion.Most cycles have four rough phases (even if your timing is irregular):1. Menstrual phase (bleeding)- Hormones: Estrogen and progesterone are low.- Reality: Low energy, cramps, mood swings, or weirdly…horny. Some people feel raw and emotionally open; others feel like a dead battery.2. Follicular phase (after your period, before ovulation)- Hormones: Estrogen starts to climb; FSH (follicle-stimulating hormone) prepares an egg.- Reality: More energy, better mood, clearer thinking, growing interest in sex. Estrogen boosts blood flow and lubrication.3. Ovulation (the egg release window)- Hormones: Estrogen peaks, LH (luteinizing hormone) spikes, testosterone often bumps up.- Reality: For many, this is prime “I would climb that person” week: higher libido, more natural wetness, stronger orgasms, more sensitivity.4. Luteal phase (after ovulation until your next period)- Hormones: Progesterone rises, then drops; estrogen has a smaller second rise, then falls.- Reality: This is the PMS playground—bloating, mood swings, fatigue, anxiety, irritability. Many people feel less interested in sex, or want more comfort-oriented, slow, cozy intimacy.Hormones don’t just control whether you ovulate—they literally change your brain chemistry, mood, and how your body responds to touch.
Week-by-week: why you’re horny one week and “meh” the next
Let’s turn that science into what you actually feel day-to-day in a roughly 28-day cycle (totally okay if yours is shorter/longer):- Days 1–5: PeriodYou’re bleeding, estrogen is low. Some people feel turned off, in pain, or exhausted. Others feel relief that they’re not pregnant and suddenly more into sex. Blood flow to the pelvis plus uterine contractions can make orgasms feel more intense. Both experiences are normal.- Days 6–12: Early–mid follicularEstrogen is rising. You may notice better mood, more energy, more social, more playful. This is often a “lighter” feeling phase where desire starts coming back online.- Days 13–16: Ovulation windowThis is usually the peak. Estrogen and testosterone are higher, which = more arousal, faster lubrication, higher sensitivity in the clitoris and nipples, and easier orgasms. Fantasies may be stronger. You’re not imagining it; your body is literally wired to be more into sex here.- Days 17–28: Luteal/PMSProgesterone is trying to turn your body into a potential baby habitat. It can increase sleepiness, reduce spontaneous arousal, and make you less responsive to sexual cues. Add PMS (bloating, breast soreness, mood drops) and suddenly the idea of sex may feel like a hard no or something you only want under very specific, safe, soft conditions.So if you’re like, “Why was I so into sex last week and now I’m like, don’t touch me?”—that’s literally the script.Your desire is not flaky. Your hormones are changing.If the typical cycle breakdown doesn’t quite match your experience or your period is chaos, that doesn’t mean you’re broken. You can always unpack your patterns one-on-one with Gush and get a version of this that actually fits your body.
The other hormone players: stress, sleep, and mental health
Sex hormones (estrogen, progesterone, testosterone) don’t exist in a vacuum. Other hormones crash the party:- Cortisol (stress hormone): Chronic stress keeps cortisol high, which can lower sex drive, mess with your cycle, and make it harder to relax into pleasure.- Serotonin and dopamine: Linked to mood and reward. Depression or anxiety—and meds like SSRIs—can blunt desire or orgasm.- Thyroid hormones: Too high or too low thyroid can tank libido, energy, and mood.So if you’re on your “horny week” but you’re drowning in exams, working two jobs, barely sleeping, or deep in anxiety? You might not feel that usual spike. That’s not you failing; that’s life steamrolling your nervous system.
What’s normal, and when should you get checked?
Normal can look like:- Feeling wildly different from week to week.- Having cycles where you’re into sex and cycles where you’re not.- Horniness not lining up perfectly with textbook ovulation.- Preferring different kinds of sex depending on where you are in your cycle (rough vs soft, penetration vs external, solo vs partnered).Worth getting checked:- Your libido disappears for months and doesn’t match your usual pattern.- Your period becomes very irregular, super heavy, or vanishes and you’re not on hormonal birth control.- Sex is consistently painful (vaginally, deep in the pelvis, or around the vulva).- You have extreme mood swings, rage episodes, or depressive crashes around your period.These can point to things like PCOS, endometriosis, PMDD, thyroid issues, or other hormone imbalances that deserve real care—not “just relax” energy.
How to work *with* your hormonal waves instead of fighting them
Some practical ways to stop hating your fluctuating sex drive and start using it:1. Track patterns, not perfection- Use a basic app or notes and log: cycle day, mood, libido (0–10), energy, and type of touch you wanted (if any).- After 2–3 cycles, look for trends: “Oh, I tend to feel more social and horny right before ovulation” or “The week before my period is my ‘handle with care’ week.”2. Communicate with partners- Try language like: “This week I’m in more of a cuddly, low-energy place, but I might be more into sex next week.”- Or: “Around my ovulation week I usually want more sex—let’s lean into that, and not take it personally when I chill down later.”3. Redefine sex based on where you’re at- Ovulation week? You might want more intensity, penetration, experimentation.- Luteal/PMS? Maybe slower touch, oral, mutual masturbation, or no sex at all but lots of closeness.- Period? Up to you: some people love orgasms for cramp relief; others want zero genital contact.4. Drop the productivity mindset about desireYou are not supposed to be “sexually productive” every day. You’re cyclical, not a machine. Anyone expecting you to be constantly horny is either lying about their own body or has been fed the same patriarchal nonsense you have.Your hormones are allowed to move. Your sex drive is allowed to move with them.
