What do STI sores actually look/feel like early on (herpes vs HPV vs a cut/ingrown hair), and when is it unsafe to have sex even if it ‘doesn’t seem that bad’?

STI sores aren’t always dramatic, but they’re almost always a reason to pause sex. Herpes usually starts as burning/tingling, then small clear blisters that pop and turn into shallow, painful ulcers. HPV genital warts are usually painless, flesh-colored bumps—smooth or cauliflower-like—that grow slowly. A simple cut is usually a straight line; an ingrown hair is a single bump often with a visible hair and may hurt more when pressed.If you have any new sore, cluster of bumps, open skin, or unexplained raw area on your vulva, anus, or mouth—skip sex or only use barriers until you get checked. “It’s probably nothing” is not a sexual health strategy. If your skin is broken, infection risk is up.If you just discovered a mystery bump and your brain is doing backflips, you’re not alone—and you’re not gross. You can send the panic to voicemail and Chat with Gush to talk through what you’re seeing, how it feels, and what to do before your next hookup.

What herpes, HPV, and other STI sores look like vs cuts or ingrown hairs

Genital herpes: what it actually looks and feels like early on

Herpes (HSV-1 or HSV-2) is way more common than anyone admits.Typical early signs:- **Prodrome**: burning, tingling, itching, or tenderness on a spot of skin before anything is visible.- Then: small, grouped blisters filled with clear or yellowish fluid.- Those blisters break, leaving shallow, red/grey ulcers.- The area can be very painful, especially when pee, sweat, or friction hits it.First outbreak:- Usually 2–12 days after exposure.- Can come with flu-like symptoms: fever, body aches, swollen groin lymph nodes.Later outbreaks:- Often milder: 1–3 blisters, heal faster.- Can be triggered by stress, illness, or hormonal shifts (e.g., right before your period when estrogen and progesterone drop and your immune system is slightly stressed).Herpes sores are usually:- Round/oval.- In clusters.- Painful to touch.

HPV genital warts: not usually “sores,” but still skin changes

HPV (human papillomavirus) has many strains. The ones that cause genital warts don’t usually cause cancer—but they do cause skin changes.Genital warts often:- Start as small, skin-colored or slightly darker bumps.- Can be flat, smooth, or cauliflower-like.- May appear singly or in clusters.- Are usually painless—maybe a little itchy or annoying with friction.They grow slowly over weeks or months, not overnight. You might notice them:- On the vulva, near the vaginal opening, on the perineum (between vagina and anus), around the anus, or even on the pubic mound.They are not open sores, but:- Skin is still abnormal.- Friction, shaving, or sex can irritate them and cause micro-tears—tiny breaks that increase STI transmission risk.

Syphilis and other STI sores you might confuse

Syphilis (yes, it’s back) starts with a **chancre**:- A single, firm, round-ish sore.- Usually painless or only slightly tender.- Can appear on the vulva, cervix, anus, mouth—wherever contact happened.- Often has a clean-looking base (not oozy) and raised edges.Because it’s not very painful and eventually goes away on its own, people ignore it—which is how syphilis quietly spreads and moves into more dangerous stages.Molluscum contagiosum (not always sexual, but skin-to-skin):- Small, dome-shaped bumps with a tiny dimple in the center.- Usually not painful.- Can show up in the pubic area, thighs, or lower belly.

Ingrown hairs, razor burn, and cuts: the non-STI imposters

Ingrown hair:- Usually one bump or a few scattered, right where hair grows.- You may see a trapped hair under the skin.- Can be red, painful to the touch, or have a white head like a pimple.- Common after shaving, waxing, tight clothing, or sweating.Razor burn:- Cluster of tiny red bumps, often itchy or stinging.- Appears right after shaving or the next day.- Follows the razor path.Simple cut or friction tear:- Looks like a line or slit, not a round sore.- Shows up after rough sex, dry sex, new toy, new position, or vigorous masturbation.- Stings when pee touches it.Key differences:- **Herpes**: grouped blisters → ulcers, very tender, often with burning before.- **Syphilis**: single, firm ulcer, usually not very painful.- **Ingrown/razor burn**: hair-related area, recent shaving, more pimple-like.- **Cut**: linear, clearly from friction or trauma.If what you’re seeing is somewhere in-between categories or just weird as hell, you’re not dramatic for spiraling. Skin is messy; symptoms overlap. You can describe exactly what you see (location, size, timeline, what makes it hurt) with Gush and get help figuring out what to ask for—swabs, blood tests, or a visual exam.

How your cycle and hormones affect sores and outbreaks

Hormones don’t cause STIs, but they absolutely change how they show up:Before your period:- Estrogen and progesterone levels drop.- Immune system is a bit more stressed.- Many people with herpes notice outbreaks right before bleeding.- Skin can feel drier, more sensitive; micro-tears from sex are more likely.Ovulation:- Estrogen peaks.- Cervical mucus increases—your vulva stays wetter, which can mean more friction if mixed with sweat/pads/liners.- More sex around this time (because libido can spike) = more chances for exposure.On hormonal birth control:- Your cycle is flattened or altered, so outbreaks may feel random.- Estrogen-containing methods sometimes improve skin, but friction and immune stress still matter.Bottom line: if you’re prone to herpes or irritation, track your cycle. Not to obsess—just to see patterns and adjust things like lube, condom use, or shaving habits around your more sensitive days.

When it’s unsafe to have sex—even if the sore looks “small”

Skip sex or use strict barriers (condoms, dental dams, gloves) and talk to a provider if:- You have any new sore, blister, cut, or raw patch on your genitals, anus, or mouth.- You feel herpes-like tingling or burning in your usual outbreak area.- You have a partner who just tested positive for an STI and you have any skin changes.Herpes fun fact (that is not fun):- It can shed even with no visible sores.- Risk is higher during an active outbreak or right before/after.HPV warts:- Can be present even when tiny.- Friction from sex can cause micro-tears and increase both transmission and irritation.Cuts and razor burn:- Even if not from an STI, broken skin makes it easier for viruses and bacteria to get in.So:- If your skin barrier is damaged → your risk is up.- If you’re questioning whether it’s safe → it’s a good night for hands, toys with condoms, and non-contact pleasure.

When to get medical care urgently

Don’t wait around if:- You have multiple painful sores or ulcers.- Peeing hurts so much you’re avoiding the bathroom.- You have fever, fatigue, or feel really sick on top of genital sores.- You’re pregnant and develop any genital lesions.Early treatment for herpes or syphilis makes a massive difference.And remember: having an STI is not a moral failure; it’s evidence you’re human and had sex in a world that refuses to educate you properly. Your job is not to be perfect—it’s to be informed and kind to your body, even when it freaks you out.