If someone is pressuring me to send pics or saying they’ll leak what they already have, is that considered revenge porn/blackmail legally, and what should I screenshot/save before I block them?
Q: If someone is pressuring me to send pics or saying they’ll leak what they already have, is that considered revenge porn/blackmail legally, and what should I screenshot/save before I block them?A: What you’re describing is not "normal relationship drama" — it’s coercion. If someone is threatening to leak your nudes unless you send more, stay with them, or do something sexual, that is usually illegal under multiple angles: image-based sexual abuse (aka revenge porn), harassment, and often extortion/blackmail.Legally, threats *alone* can be enough for action even if they never follow through. Your job right now is not to convince them to be decent; it’s to **protect evidence and yourself**. Screenshot and save every threat, their profile and contact info, any images they sent back of you, and timestamps. Then talk to someone you trust, report to platforms, and consider police or campus authorities depending on your safety.If your body is buzzing with fear and your brain is foggy, you don’t have to untangle this solo — you can always chat with Gush about what’s happening, how it’s affecting your cycle, and what feels safe next.
Is threatening to leak my nudes revenge porn or blackmail, and what evidence should I keep?
This isn’t "pressure" — it’s sexual coercion and abuse
Let’s call it what it is.When someone:- Says "send me pics or I’ll leak the ones I have"- Demands sexual content to keep a relationship- Uses your past nudes as leverage…they are **not** being flirty, jealous, or "just emotional." They are:- Violating your consent.- Weaponizing your trust.- Trying to control your choices by fear.Legally, this often lands under:- **Image-based sexual abuse / revenge porn** (sharing or threatening to share intimate images without consent).- **Extortion or blackmail** (demanding something — more nudes, sex, staying in the relationship — in exchange for not harming you).- **Harassment or coercive control**, especially in dating or domestic violence laws.
What laws usually say about threats vs. actual leaks
Many people think, "They haven’t actually posted anything yet, so there’s nothing I can do." That’s exactly the myth abusers rely on.In a lot of places:- **Threats alone** can be illegal.- Saying "I will send this to your family, your boss, your school" can count as **extortion** (they want something from you) and/or **criminal harassment**.- If you’re under 18 in the images:- Any sharing or threatened sharing involves **child sexual abuse material (CSAM)**.- That’s an extremely serious offense.Police and platforms will care about:- The **content** (is it sexual / intimate?).- The **threat** (what are they saying they’ll do?).- The **leverage** (what are they trying to get from you?).
What to screenshot and save before you block
Evidence now = options later.Save:1. **Threats in their own words**- Chats, DMs, texts: where they say they’ll leak your pics, send them to others, or demand more.- Audio notes? Screen record and save.2. **Their identity**- Username and user ID.- Phone numbers, email addresses.- Links to profiles on every platform they’re using.3. **Any posted images**- Screenshots of posts, stories, group chats, or servers where your pics appear.- Include **usernames of others** in group chats.4. **Timeline and context**- Make a note (in a doc or notes app) of:- When you met.- When you sent images (if you did).- When threats started.5. **Backups**- Upload evidence to a **cloud folder** only you can access.- Or email it to yourself from a secure account.Only once you’ve done that should you consider blocking, muting, or restricting them.Midway reminder: if your situation feels so specific and messy that you don’t see yourself in these bullet points, you’re not broken — life is just complicated. You can always lay it out step-by-step with Gush and get a judgment-free second brain on what your body and emotions are going through.
Safety plan: protecting your body, your accounts, and your life
Beyond saving receipts, think about **practical safety**:- **Digital safety**- Change passwords on:- Email, socials, cloud storage.- Turn on **two-factor authentication** (use an authenticator app, not SMS if you can).- Log out of all devices.- **Physical and social safety**- Tell a trusted friend, roommate, or RA what’s going on.- Share their name, handle, and the threats in case you need backup.- If you live with them or see them on campus, plan safe routes and people.- **Reporting**- Use in-app report tools: mark as non-consensual intimate images / harassment.- If you’re in school: Title IX / student conduct offices usually treat this as sexual or dating violence.- Police: use phrases like "They are threatening to distribute intimate images of me unless I do X" — that translates to extortion and image-based abuse.
How your cycle and hormones can amplify this (and how to work with them)
Your body is reacting to a literal threat. That’s going to collide with your hormonal cycle in real ways.Across your menstrual cycle, hormone shifts change your stress resilience, mood, and sexual boundaries:- **Menstrual phase (bleeding):**- Low estrogen + low progesterone = lower serotonin and energy.- Threats can feel crushing; even small decisions may feel impossible.- **Follicular phase (after your period, estrogen climbing):**- Estrogen supports clearer thinking and problem-solving.- This might be the window where you feel most able to gather evidence, report, and set hard boundaries.- **Ovulatory phase (mid-cycle, estrogen peak, some testosterone):**- Higher libido, more social drive, and sensitivity to rejection.- Abusers may sense this and push hardest here, knowing you’re more tempted by connection.- **Luteal phase (PMS, progesterone high then drops):**- More anxiety, irritability, and negative thoughts.- Shame spirals ("this is my fault" / "I’m ruined") hit hard here, even though they’re lies.Intense stress from coercion and fear can also:- Delay your period.- Make PMS symptoms worse.- Trigger headaches, gut issues, or insomnia.If your period vanishes for several months, bleeding becomes extreme, or your mood is so unstable you can’t function, that’s a sign to talk to a clinician. If you’re on hormonal birth control, some emotional blunting or mood shifts can happen, but persistent dread or panic deserves real attention, not dismissal.
Deprogramming the shame: this is about *their* choices, not your worth
A lot of women stay in these situations because the shame script sounds like:- "I shouldn’t have sent it in the first place."- "If anyone finds out, they’ll blame me."- "The only way to fix this is to keep them happy."That’s exactly how abuse works — by convincing you *you* are the problem.Reality check:- Trusting someone with intimacy does not make you stupid.- Using your body for pleasure does not make you disposable.- Threatening you is not "understandable" because they’re hurt or jealous; it’s a tactic.Action is how you reclaim power:- Document.- Tell someone.- Report when and where you feel safe.- Choose yourself over their ego.You’re allowed to be pissed, scared, and still powerful. All at once.
