If someone sends me explicit stuff without asking, what’s a firm but not-drama way to shut it down (and set boundaries) without feeling guilty?

You don’t owe anyone explicit content in your DMs. When someone sends sexual pics without consent, you get to name the violation, set a clear boundary, and block or report—without apologizing or feeling guilty.

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What does “good” consent look like in DMs—like, is a flirty vibe enough or should I get an actual yes before sending anything spicy?

A flirty vibe alone is not consent. In sexting and DMs, “good” consent is clear, specific, and enthusiastic—a real yes to exactly what you’re sending, not just vibes, emojis, or late-night flirtiness.

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Questions about consent in sending digital nudes

People often worry about whether sending their own nudes is illegal, if leaked images can ever really be erased, how to recognize child sexual abuse material, and whether stress from leaks can disrupt their cycle. The answers are nuanced but focus on age, consent, damage control, and how closely your stress and menstrual health are linked.

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If someone is pressuring me to send pics or saying they’ll leak what they already have, is that considered revenge porn/blackmail legally, and what should I screenshot/save before I block them?

Threatening to leak your nudes to force you to send more, stay, or do anything sexual is abuse — and often counts as image-based sexual abuse, harassment, and even blackmail. Before blocking, save every threat, their identifying info, any posts, and a clear timeline so you have options with platforms, schools, or police.

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What’s the safest way to share intimate pics if you’re going to—are apps like Snapchat/Signal actually safer, and what stuff do people forget (metadata, cloud backups, screenshots, Face ID unlocks, etc.)?

No nude is 100% safe once it leaves your device, but you can lower the risk. Use encrypted apps, keep your face and identifiers out of the frame, strip metadata, avoid cloud backups and shared devices, and lock down your phone so you’re protecting Future You, not just pleasing someone right now.

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If I sent someone nudes consensually and we break up, what are my actual legal options if they share them—like how do I get it taken down fast and do I have to prove it was non-consensual?

Consensually sending a nude does not mean you agreed to let an ex share it. In most places, sharing or threatening to share intimate images without consent is illegal. Your priority is to capture evidence, use rapid takedown tools and platform reports, and, if needed, involve law enforcement or campus authorities.

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