Recognizing gaslighting and emotional abuse

1 Jan

Can gaslighting or emotional abuse affect my period or hormones?

Chronic stress from gaslighting and emotional abuse absolutely hits your body. Long-term high cortisol can throw off your hypothalamus–pituitary–ovarian axis (the brain–ovary conversation that runs your cycle). That can mean:

Irregular periods or skipped cycles
Worse PMS or mood swings in the luteal phase
More painful cramps or heavier bleeding
Sleep issues that make everything feel 10x harder

If you’re noticing your cycle changing while you’re trapped in a toxic situation, your body might be waving a red flag. Track your stress, cycle, and symptoms for a few months. If periods disappear, become extremely painful, or you’re bleeding very heavily, get checked by a provider. And also ask: what would happen to my body if I wasn’t constantly stuck in fight-or-flight with this person?

Is it still gaslighting if they don’t mean to hurt me?

Gaslighting is about the impact and pattern, not just the intention. Someone can be clueless, defensive, or emotionally immature and still constantly deny your reality, twist your words, and make you doubt your sanity. That’s harmful, even if they’re not sitting there planning psychological warfare.

What matters:

Do they listen when you say, 'This makes me feel crazy'? Or do they double down?
When you bring evidence, do they get curious or combative?
Do they actually change over time, or is it always the same cycle?

If they consistently rewrite events, shame your emotions, and you’re left confused and small, that experience is gaslighting. You’re allowed to respond to the reality of their behavior, not the fantasy of their 'good intentions.'

Can family members gaslight me, or is that just a relationship thing?

Family can absolutely be expert-level gaslighters. In fact, many people first learn to doubt themselves at home. It can sound like:

'We never said that, stop being dramatic.'
'You had a perfect childhood, be grateful.'
'You’re remembering it wrong; that’s not what happened.'

Because family feels 'normal', it’s easy to minimize it. But if you leave interactions feeling confused, guilty for having boundaries, or like you must be the unreasonable one, that’s a sign of emotional manipulation.

You’re allowed to set limits with parents, siblings, or relatives: less contact, shorter visits, topic boundaries. Blood doesn’t exempt anyone from basic respect. Distance from a gaslighting family is an act of self-preservation, not betrayal.

How do I start trusting my feelings again after emotional abuse?

Start small and somatic. Emotional abuse trains you to override your gut, so you rebuild that connection step by step:

Notice body signals: tight chest, stomach knots, headaches after certain people or places.
Practice tiny preferences: what do you want to eat, wear, watch, do? Then actually choose it.
Journal your reactions, then check them later when you’re calm. Most of the time you’ll find your first feeling made sense.

Therapy, support groups, and trauma-informed spaces can help, but so can simply surrounding yourself with people who don’t make you explain why you deserve basic kindness.

You don’t have to heal or fact-check your feelings alone. If you want a low-pressure space to ask questions, unpack patterns, or just double-check if something is normal, you can always talk it through with Gush and let your body, your cycle, and your intuition finally be heard.