I get she/her, he/him, and they/them, but how do neopronouns work in real life—like how do you use them in sentences, and what if I’m genuinely worried I’ll keep forgetting?
Neopronouns are pronouns like xe/xem, ze/zir, fae/faer, and others that people use instead of she/he/they. They work exactly the way other pronouns do; you just plug them into the same spots in a sentence: Xe went to the store. I texted xem. That notebook is xirs. If someone shares neopronouns with you, treat them like any other pronouns: write them down, practice a few example sentences, and use them consistently.If you’re worried you’ll forget, be honest and proactive: Thanks for sharing your pronouns, I might slip as I practice, but I’m committed to getting it right. Then actually practice. Forgetting sometimes is normal; refusing to try is the problem.If you want help practicing or even sorting how this intersects with how you feel in your body, your cycle, or your hormones, you can walk through it with Gush.
How neopronouns work and how to use them in real-life sentences
Neopronouns 101: what they are and why they exist
Neopronouns are just… pronouns. Newer ones. That’s it.Examples you might see:- xe/xem/xyr- ze/zir/zirs- ze/hir/hirs- fae/faer/faers- ey/em/eirPeople use them because:- She/he feel wrong or dysphoric.- They/them feels close but not quite right.- They want language that doesn’t drag gendered baggage behind it.You don’t need to vibe personally with a pronoun set to respect it. You’ve accepted Mrs. and sir and ma’am your whole life on autopilot; your brain can handle xe/xem.
Exactly how to use neopronouns in sentences
Think of neopronouns as a direct swap for she/he/they.Take xe/xem/xyr:- Subject: Xe is coming over later.- Object: I invited xem to the study group.- Possessive adjective: This is xyr backpack.- Possessive pronoun: That seat is xyrs.- Reflexive: Xe made xemself dinner.Now ze/zir:- Subject: Ze joined our lab this semester.- Object: I asked zir about the assignment.- Possessive adjective: That’s zir laptop.- Possessive pronoun: The decision was zirs.- Reflexive: Ze introduced zirself to everyone.And fae/faer:- Subject: Fae sent the notes.- Object: I’ll forward them to faer.- Possessive adjective: That’s faer water bottle.- Possessive pronoun: The idea was faers.- Reflexive: Fae described faerself as nonbinary.The pattern is the same as other pronouns. It just feels new because patriarchy taught us that only two pronouns matter.If your brain is like absolutely not, this is too much , remember: you adapted to yeet , no cap , and ten million TikTok phrases in under a year. You’re not confused; you’re resisting.If you’re noticing a gap between what you understand in your brain and what you feel in your body, or you’re wondering how your hormones, mood swings, or cycle connect to your gender experience, you can untangle that mess with Gush in a way that actually centers you.
What to say when someone shares neopronouns with you
Keep it simple and respectful.Try:- Thanks for telling me. I’ll use xe/xem for you.- Got it – fae/faer. If I mess up while I’m learning, feel free to correct me.Avoid:- That’s too confusing.- I’ll just use your name instead. (Unless they specifically say that’s what they want.)- But what’s in your pants though? which is rude, invasive, and absolutely none of your business.If you’re unsure how to decline sharing your own pronouns (maybe you’re still figuring it out), you can say:- I’m not ready to share pronouns right now, but thanks for asking.You deserve that same respect from others.
Worried you’ll forget neopronouns? Here’s how to actually remember
Being worried you’ll forget is honest. What matters is what you do with that worry.Strategies that work:- Write them down: In your notes app: Kay – ze/zir . Look before you text or talk about them.- Practice out loud: Ze is in my group. I’m meeting zir later. The presentation is zirs. Say it in the shower if you have to.- Visual anchors: If someone uses fae/faer and loves nature, you might mentally link fae to fairytale/fairy, not in a mocking way, but as a memory hook.- Update contact names: Jax (xe/xem) in your phone, Slack, or Notion.- Catch yourself gently: She – sorry, xe – was saying… then move on.If you keep struggling, that doesn’t mean neopronouns are the problem. It means you need more reps.
Gender, pronouns, and what your hormones are doing in the background
Neopronouns are about language, not biology. But the way you feel in your gender can absolutely be influenced by what your hormones are doing and where you are in your cycle.Quick cycle breakdown:- Menstrual phase: You’re bleeding, estrogen and progesterone are low, and everything can feel raw, heavy, and loud. Gender dysphoria or body discomfort can spike here for some people.- Follicular phase: Estrogen rises. Many people feel clearer, more energetic, and more able to advocate for themselves – including about pronouns or identity.- Ovulation: Hormones like LH surge. Libido might rise, you may feel more social or bold. This can be a time you feel more at home in your body – or more aware of how others sexualize you.- Luteal phase: Progesterone is high, then drops before your period. This is peak PMS, mood swings, rage, and sensitivity. Misgendering or invalidation hits extra hard here.Birth control, especially hormonal methods, can:- Flatten your hormone fluctuations. For some, that eases mood swings; for others, it dulls everything.- Change your bleed pattern (lighter, heavier, or none).- Affect libido, body image, and emotional regulation.None of this determines your gender or your pronouns. But it can change how loudly your dysphoria, euphoria, or confusion feels in your body on any given day.If your cycles are irregular, super painful, or interfering with your life, that deserves medical attention regardless of gender. And whoever you are – woman, nonbinary, gender-fluid, trans – your pronouns are valid in every waiting room you walk into.
Dealing with people who roll their eyes at neopronouns
Let’s be blunt: people who mock neopronouns are usually the same ones who think respecting someone’s pronouns is too political but will call a boat she without blinking.You’re allowed to:- Shut it down: It costs you nothing to use someone’s pronouns. I’m not debating their existence.- Redirect: We’re not doing pronoun jokes. Change the subject or leave.- Protect your peace: If it’s unsafe or exhausting to argue (boss, professor, violent family), focus on using the right pronouns yourself and supporting the person privately.Neopronouns are not harming anyone. Disrespect is.You don’t have to be perfectly fluent in every pronoun set that exists. You do have to be willing to try, learn, and adjust. That’s the energy that actually makes spaces less hostile and more human.
