People Often Ask – Common pronouns and how to use them (e.g., she/her, he/him, they/them, neopronouns)
Pronouns are the words people use for you in language, and they can shift over time as your relationship to gender evolves. You can normalize sharing them in email signatures or profiles, and you’re allowed to ask doctors to respect both your pronouns and your menstrual health concerns.
I get she/her, he/him, and they/them, but how do neopronouns work in real life—like how do you use them in sentences, and what if I’m genuinely worried I’ll keep forgetting?
Neopronouns like xe/xem, ze/zir, or fae/faer work just like she/he/they—you plug them into sentences the same way (“Xe is coming, I invited xem, that notebook is xirs”). If you’re worried you’ll forget, write them down, practice out loud, and correct yourself quickly when you slip.
If I mess up someone’s pronouns (like I accidentally say “she” instead of “they”), what’s the best way to correct myself without making it a whole thing or centering my guilt?
The smoothest way to fix pronoun mistakes is quick, clean, and low-drama: “She – sorry, they…” then keep going. If it’s a pattern, offer a short apology and actually work on changing, without centering your guilt or making them comfort you.
How do I ask someone their pronouns without making it awkward or putting them on the spot—especially at work or in class when everyone’s watching?
Keep it simple, lead by example, and give people an easy out. The least awkward way to ask someone’s pronouns is to offer yours first: “Hey, I’m Maya, I use she/they. How about you?” In group settings, normalize it as optional so it feels like a norm, not an interrogation.