For oral sex, what actually works to prevent STIs (like, are dental dams worth it and how do you use them without it feeling super awkward or killing the vibe)?

Barriers are what actually protect you during oral sex. For oral on a penis, condoms (regular or flavored) cut the risk of gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, and more. For oral on a vulva or anus, dental dams *do* work: a thin latex or polyurethane sheet blocks direct skin/mucus contact, which is how herpes, HPV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis spread.To keep it from feeling awkward, stop treating the dam like a medical device and make it part of the performance: flavored dams, teasing with your tongue through the latex, using lube on the side touching them, and adding dirty talk all help. Safety doesn’t kill the vibe—being scared mid-hookup because you raw-dogged someone’s genitals with your mouth does.Ready to talk through your actual body, not just theory? You can chat with Gush about your cycle, symptoms, hookups—whatever your body’s been yelling about.

How to prevent STIs during oral sex with condoms and dental dams

What STIs can you get from oral sex?

Oral sex is not the “loop-hole” the abstinence-only crowd sold us.You can get or give these STIs from oral:- Herpes (HSV-1 and HSV-2) – mouth-to-genital, genital-to-mouth, mouth-to-anus.- HPV – can infect the throat and genitals; tied to throat and cervical cancers.- Gonorrhea – loves the throat. Often zero symptoms.- Chlamydia – less common in the throat but absolutely possible.- Syphilis – spread by contact with sores, which are easy to miss.- HIV – lower risk from oral than vaginal/anal, but not zero, especially with cuts, sores, or blood.If there’s skin-to-skin or mucus-to-mucus contact (mouth, genitals, anus) and fluids are involved, there’s some level of STI risk.

What actually lowers STI risk during oral sex

Here’s what works:- **Condoms for oral on a penis**- Use regular or flavored condoms.- Put it on before your mouth goes near the shaft or tip.- You still get warmth, shape, and movement; they still get the stimulation.- **Dental dams or DIY dams for oral on vulva/anus**- A dental dam is a thin sheet of latex/polyurethane.- You can DIY by cutting a condom lengthwise and opening it into a rectangle.- **Gloves for hand stuff if you have cuts**- If you’re doing intense fingering + then putting those fingers in your mouth, a glove can be helpful when there are open cuts, hangnails, or eczema.Total myths that don’t protect you:- Rinsing with mouthwash after- Wiping off and going back in- Only letting them finish on your stomach/faceProtection has to be **on during contact**, not after.

Dental dams 101: how to use them without killing the vibe

Basic steps:1. **Open it like a treat, not a chore.**Rip it open like a fruit roll-up, not a surgical drape.2. **Lay it flat over the vulva or anus.**No wrinkles if you can help it; hold the corners if needed.3. **Add lube to the side touching them.**A little water-based lube on their side = more sensation.4. **Use your tongue, lips, and pressure.**You can still trace, suck, and tease through the latex.5. **Keep it in place.**Use your hands on their thighs/hips to anchor it.How to make it hot instead of awkward:- Call it out playfully: “I bring snacks *and* safety.”- Use flavored dams (or flavored condoms you cut into a dam).- Maintain eye contact, moaning, dirty talk. The performance matters more than a millimeter of latex.- Put it on *your* terms: “I like my pleasure drama-free, so we’re using this.”Half the awkwardness is people acting like safety is shameful. It’s not. It’s competent.Want a reality check on whether your own experiences match this playbook—or completely don’t? Take it to Gush and get a human to walk through your specific sitch.

Where your menstrual cycle and hormones come in

No, your cycle is not a replacement for condoms or dams. But hormones absolutely affect how sex feels and how likely you are to push your boundaries.**Follicular phase (period to ovulation):**- Estrogen rises. You often feel more energetic, confident, and horny.- You might be more open to new partners or “risky” sex, including unprotected oral, because your brain is on main-character mode.**Ovulation:**- Estrogen peaks, a little testosterone bump can spike libido.- Cervical mucus is wetter and stretchier (egg-white vibes), which can make any genital contact feel extra slippery—good for sensation, but also easy to slide from “just oral” to “oops, now it’s more.”**Luteal phase (post-ovulation to period):**- Progesterone rises, which can cause bloating, low mood, and breast tenderness.- Some people have more sensitivity or irritation in vulvar tissue, so barriers may actually feel more comfortable by reducing friction.**Menstruation:**- Blood can carry STIs like HIV, hepatitis B, and others.- Oral sex while someone’s on their period is a personal preference issue, but not inherently safer from an STI standpoint.If your cycle is irregular—or you’re on hormonal birth control—your hormone pattern may be flatter or unpredictable. That does **not** change STI risk. The pill, patch, ring, implant, and IUDs protect against pregnancy only, not infections.

Birth control, irregular cycles, and when to see a provider

Your bleeding pattern affects how easy it is to notice STI symptoms:- **On hormonal birth control:**- You might have lighter or no periods.- Breakthrough spotting is common, which can hide bleeding from infections like chlamydia or gonorrhea.- **Irregular cycles (PCOS, stress, weight shifts, etc.):**- It’s harder to tell what’s “normal” for you.- Track your cycle and discharge in an app or notes so you can spot changes.Red flags to get checked:- New strong odor (fishy, metallic, or rotten)- Green, yellow, or grey discharge- Pain or burning when you pee- Sores, blisters, or unusual bumps around mouth, vulva, or anus- Bleeding after sex that’s not just rough frictionRoutine STI testing at least once a year—and every 3–6 months if you have new or multiple partners—is damage control, not drama.

Communication and making barriers the default

If someone whines that a condom or dam “kills the mood,” that’s your red flag, not a fun debate.Scripts you can steal:- “I don’t do unprotected oral with people whose medical history I don’t have in writing.”- “Condom or dam = we keep going. No barrier = we stop. Your choice.”- “I like my sex fun and my test results boring.”For casual or new partners, act like barriers are non-negotiable. If you’re in a long-term, mutually monogamous relationship, both tested (including throat swabs if you give oral), and you’ve had an honest conversation about risk, you might decide together to skip barriers for oral. Just be real about what you’re trading off.Barriers don’t make sex clinical. Silence and shame do. You deserve pleasure *and* safety, at the same time.